Monday, August 13, 2012

Confessions

This is a somewhat embarrassing, humbling post for me to write, but I want this blog to be a document of our journey as a family and for me personally and this is a real part of it.  I love food.  Love it.  Like too much.  I think about it all the time like an addict.  I truly have an appreciation for the way food tastes, the way recipes come together, for cooking and baking and for all the goods that my mouth can experience.  I think there is a time and a place to enjoy food, but it should not consume my life or my body or my thoughts.  The Lord has been molding me and teaching me through this passage in 1 Corinthians chapter 6:19-20:

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

I need to dwell on heavenly things and not things of this earth.  I was bought at a price.  

I am really good at turning my own head during meal times or snack times and giving in to temptation and then feeling really bad afterward.  It's like my guilty pleasure - literally.  Food should not consume my thoughts.  I shouldn't always be thinking about the next time I'm going to eat.  I need to fill my spiritual hunger with the Bread of Life rather than filling up on empty calories that satisfy for a few minutes.  My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.  Back in 1 Kings Solomon builds this amazingly beautiful temple and spends ten years and countless resources to make an exquisite house for the Ark of the Covenant, God's dwelling-place.   Before Jesus conquered death and was called up to heaven, God required a physical dwelling place here on the earth but now he has sent his Spirit to dwell in our hearts.  

How irreverant of me to take such poor care of the Holy Spirit's dwelling place in me.  I am so blessed to have a fully functioning, healthy body with both hands and feet and no disabilities and I fill it full of junk.  Taking away energy, motivation, self-esteem/confidence and overall health.  I am not setting a good example to my family.  Scripture says everything is permissible but not everything beneficial.  I am called to a higher standard.  I am to let nothing master me.  

I know that God is teaching me and working on my heart in this area.  This is one major thing that I feel like I am having trouble letting out of my grasp.  Like I'm holding on to food so tight and am struggling to let go.  Just as other people struggle with giving up their personal addictions, I am struggling to give up mine.  

By God's grace I can overcome it.  I am learning more each day and working on this area of my life and my heart.  Praise God for his endless patience with me and for never giving up on me.  Although I fail a thousand times, His love still remains.  

3 comments:

  1. Bless you for sharing! I've been in a very similar spot to where you are. Food addictions are so hard to deal with because unlike other things you can't just walk away and give it up. You have to eat! Finding that balance between healthy eating and unhealthy eating is so difficult. I'm so glad we have a savior who knows what it's like to be hungry and to eat. He understands our weaknesses even better than we do. Thanks for the reminder that everything we do should glorify God, even the things we eat and drink. Praying for you!

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  2. It is healthy for everyone to learn about the purpose of our bodies and their function and also the purpose of food. Food isn't bad. God designed us to need three meals a day. Food is good, we just need to have that right perspective of it. I feel like my pregnancy with Emerson and with breastfeeding, helped me get a better understanding of how our bodies are tools to use for serving Christ. We need to take care of them so they function properly, but not idolize them either (excessive exercising, forbidding food, or feeding them too much). It's hard not to idolize them when our culture emphasizes it so much. Good food for thought, Val ;)

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  3. I'm in the same boat. thank you for being so honest!

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